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The next 5
compliments Fpierjr@aol.com
Some say that a glass is half full, some say it is half empty. I
say it
needs to be reengineered.
I ain't had so much fun since the hogs ate my little brother.
Your lack of planning doesn't constitute an emergency for me.
yyur yyub icur yy4me
The termite went into a beer joint and asked "Is your bar-tender
here?"
The scenery only changes for the lead dog......
The following
compliments of donswash@psln.com
Resolve to keep your car clean
Is your car
X rated?
Free snow with car wash
Cherry tree make you car pitiful?
Your in the pink with our new soap
Before you kiss the blarney stone wash it here
If rabbits really laid eggs good thing they don't fly
Come on in the waters fine
Is your car living a clean life?
Blame us for that washed up look
Happy day Mom
Look at your car others do
Drop by for suds and still be able to drive legally
Your dirt goes down the drain like your money in Washington D.C.
America its a beautiful sight but your car is it a blight?
No dates? would you want ot ride in a dirty car?
Rain has no soap use ours
Give your car a vacation from dirt wash it here
If you must drink and drive drink milk
The only love money can buy is a dog
You know you're over the hill when happy hour means nap time
Guys in dirty cars don't stand a ghost of a chance
Snow men have a real problem with water retention
If money could talk it would say goodbye
I don't blame congress if I had 600 billion I would be irresponsible
too
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door
you are on
Democracy is three wolves and one sheep voting on what to have
for supper.
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a womans birthday but
never remembers her age
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?
If swiming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
If a turtle does not have a shell on, is it homeless or naked?
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.......Contr. Terry
Mulville
The following
are compliments of Terry Mulville
Immorality is the morality of those having a better time (H. L. Menken)
The American electoral process is the advance auction of stolen public
property (H. L. Menken)
No one's life, liberty or prosperity are safe while congress is in
session (M. Twain)
If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway (Murphy's
Law)
Any tool dropped while repairing a car will fall underneath to the
exact center (Murphy)
The repairman will never have seen a model quite like yours before
(Murphy).
The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an on coming
train (Murphy).
Celibacy is not hereditary (Murphy).
A Smith & Wesson beats four aces (Murphy).
All warranties expire upon payment of invoice
The race is not always to the swiftest, nor the battle to the strongest
but that's the way to bet (Murphy).
It's not whether you win or lose, its how you place the blame
When in doubt, tell the truth (M. Twain)
Always tell the truth. It will gratify some people and astonish the
rest (M. Twain).
Man is the only animal that blushes. . . or needs to. (M. Twain)
Coincidences are God's anonymous works.
You can complain that the rosebush has thorns, or you can rejoice
that the thorn bush has roses.
If I have been able to see farther than others, it's because I stood
on the shoulders of giants.
Freedom is the absence of concern about oneself.
Leadership is the ability to make the future predictable
When dumb money acknowledges its limitations, it ceases to be dumb.
(W. Buffet)
Invest in a business even a fool can run. Someday a fool will probably
run that business (W. Buffet)
The easiest way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it. (Twain)
Politicians go in on promises and out on alibis
Income tax filing creates more liars than golf.
A man is not finished when he is defeated. A man is finished when
he quits.
Modesty is superiority bowing to mediocrity
The greatest labor saving device is tomorrow
What lies behind us, and what lies ahead of us pales in comparison
to what lies within us.
Life is like a map; you will never find the right way with the wrong
people guiding you (Brittany)
If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there
A man there was they called him mad. The more he gave the more he
had
If your only goal in life is to climb the ladder of success, you may
find the ladder leaning against the wrong wall
The prosperous times go in your pocket. The lean times go into your
heart.
Every business is the extended shadow of one man (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
Every day is a great day. If you don't believe it, try missing one.
Man does not live by bread alone. Sometimes he needs buttering up
Bigamy is when a man has too many wives. Monogamy is the same. (George
Bernard Shaw)
One more drink and I'll be under the host (Emily Post?)
If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything
If you don't risk being wrong, you'll never be right
You can't hit the ball if you don't swing the bat
ego stands for "edge God out"
children spell love T-I-M-E
Art is the lie that makes us see the truth (Picasso)
To admit that you are wrong is to say that you are wiser today than
you were yesterday
Insanity is emotion without memory
A person that is good at excuses is seldom good at anything else
Sometimes you have to go out on a limb to reach the fruit
You can't shake hands with a clenched fist
Those who look down on others are living on a bluff
The best way to remove a chip from someone's shoulder is to let them
take a bow.
The one thing you can do behind a person's back is pat it
Happiness is never a destination but a way of traveling
The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respected he is (George
Bernard Shaw)
The best exercise for strengthening the heart is reaching down and
lifting people up (Ernest Bleveins)
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary
safety deserve neither liberty nor
Safety (Benjamin Franklin)
The darkest hour in any man's life is when he sits down to plan how
to get money without
earning it (Horace Greeley)
If you don't ask, then the answer will always be no
Courage is not a gift . . . It is a decision
Alimony is the high cost of leaving
Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from behind or a fool
from any direction (M. Twain ?)
Several excuses are less convincing than one.
Obesity is becoming widespread
Put all your eggs in one basket, then watch that basket
A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of
nothing
A fool and his money are soon invited everywhere
Defeat is the temporary postponement of victory (Lincoln)
The world breaks everyone. But you become stronger at the broken places
The man who makes no mistakes usually doesn't make anything else
A hug is a great gift and it's easy to give
Seek joy in what you give, not in what you get
A home is ruled by the sickest person in it
Flattery is the sincerest form of lying
Never economize on luxuries
Die young as late as possible
The Ant Philosophies
When blocked, the ant will attempt to go over, around, or underneath
something rather than be turned back
ants think about winter in the summer (prepare for lean times)
ants think about summer in the winter (at the lowest, coldest moment
you know things will get better
Given enough promotions, every employee tends to rise to his own level
of incompetence (Peter Principal)
Select the right research and you can support any conclusion (Peter)
Many Americans are not working, but fortunately most of them have
jobs. (Peter)
What is considered a living wage depends on whether you pay it or
earn it. (Peter)
An acceptable level of unemployment is a percentage established by
a person who still has a job. (Peter)
An unbreakable toy can always be used to break another toy (Peter)
If you are old enough to know better, you're too old to do it. (Peter)
The big difficulties in life should come when we are 18 and know everything
(Peter)
Don't drive on a freeway where careless motorists are driving too
close ahead of you. (Peter)
Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those
who hustle. (Lincoln)
Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend
Time is the longest distance between two places
Gone crazy. Be back shortly.
Remember, the lesser of two evils is still evil.
Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your kids.
Isn't it strange that the people who laugh at fortunetellers take
economists seriously?
Everyone has the right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.
Advice is free. The right answer will cost you plenty.
Clones are people "two"
A waist is a terrible thing to mind
Good news is life's way of keeping you off balance.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious
(Murphy).
A city is a large community where people are lonesome together. (Herbert
Prochnow)
A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest
in the students
When a subject becomes totally obsolete, colleges make it a required
course. (Peter Drucker)
A college professor is someone who talks in other people's sleep.
An economist is someone who thinks he knows more about money than
the people who have it.
Have less than you show. Speak less than you know.
Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it. (George
Bernard Shaw)
You see things as they are and ask "Why?" I dream things as they never
were and ask
"Why not?" (George Bernard Shaw)
One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that
you end up being governed by your inferiors. (Plato)
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
If love is blind, marriage is a real eye opener.
There are no facts, only interpretations. (Friederich Nietzche)
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, the Ark was built
by amateurs The Titanic was built by professionals.
Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe
you. Tell him that a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch
it to be sure.
All great discoveries are made by accident.
A meeting is an event in which minutes are kept and hours are lost.
A failure will not appear until the unit has passed final inspection.
It hurts to be on the cutting edge.
If Clinton is the answer, it was a stupid question.
Where are we going & why am I in this handbasket?
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
When you have completed 95% of your journey, you're half way there.
In the end, we will not remember the words of our enemies, but the
silence of our friends. (Martin L. King)
The last time I was in a woman, I was visiting the Statue of Liberty.
(Woody Allen)
When a subject becomes totally obsolete, colleges make it a required
course. (Peter Drucker)
A college professor is someone who talks in other people's sleep.
An economist is someone who thinks he knows more about money than
the people who have it.
Have less than you show. Speak less than you know.
Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it. (George
Bernard Shaw)
You see things as they are and ask "Why?" I dream things as they never
were and ask
"Why not?" (George Bernard Shaw)
One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that
you end up being governed by your inferiors. (Plato)
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
If love is blind, marriage is a real eye opener.
There are no facts, only interpretations. (Friederich Nietzche)
Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, the Ark was built
by amateurs The Titanic was
built by professionals.
Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe
you. Tell him that a bench has wet
paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure.
All great discoveries are made by accident.
A meeting is an event in which minutes are kept and hours are lost.
A failure will not appear until the unit has passed final inspection.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
Love is grand. Divorce is at least a hundred grand.
It hurts to be on the cutting edge.
If Clinton is the answer, it was a stupid question.
Where are we going & why am I in this handbasket?
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.
When you have completed 95% of your journey, you're half way there.
In the end, we will not remember the words of our enemies, but the
silence of our friends. (Martin L. King)
The important thing in acting is to be able to laugh and cry. If I
have to laugh, I think of my sex life.
If I have to cry, I think of my sex life. (Glenda Jackson)
If you never want to see a man again, say: " I love you. I want to
marry you. I want ot have your children. They will leave skid marks.
(Rita Rudner)
The last time I was in a woman, I was visiting the Statue of Liberty.
(Woody Allen)
O'Brian's Law - Murphy was an optimist!...pfagan
Every silver lining has a dark cloud......pfagan
He who seeks revenge should start by digging two graves. Terry Mulville
College is a fountain of knowledge, and the students are there to
drink Terry Mulville
A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar. C.
Craig
Fear is the foundation of most governments. J. Adams C. Craig
Common sense is not so common. Voltaire C. Craig
Love
is grand. Divorce is at least a hundred grand.....Contr. Terry
Mulville Who says
a man is just a vibrator with a wallet.
A politican
will find an excuse to get out of anything except office.... donswash
A seminar
on time travel will be held two weeks ago....donswash
An elephant
is a mouse built to government specifications. donswash
7/5 of all
people do not understand fractions...donswash
Does the
name Pavlov ring a bell...donswash
Satisfaction
guaranteed or your dirt back... Lisa Lyons
Your dirt
is our business...Lisa Lyons
Take a bite
out of grime...... Lisa Lyons
Your wife
called and said to wash the car......... Lisa Lyons
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